Dr. Noah H. Kersey Ph.D.
A day never goes by that I do not think
of the son that I have never met.
Although it has been 37 years, the experience of his conception is
forever embedded in my memory.
His mother and I both lived in an
Tampa, Florida. She was of Yugoslavian descent and a classic
beauty. As teenagers do, we "fell in love" and our passions took
over. We became sexually intimate.
One night, I made the mistake of falling asleep in Ginny's bed and
when the light came on and our house-father looked into the room, I
panicked. At first it did not seem as if he saw me because he wore
thick glasses but, in a short while it became evident that he had
seen us together after all.
Later that morning I was called to the office and was informed that
I would have to leave the orphanage, drop out of school, and work
while going to night classes to finish high school or, join the Army
as so many of the other teenagers were doing during the Vietnam era.
They said Ginny would have to go to a foster home, and could not
stay at the orphanage either.
The next day I had a talk with my high school band director and told
him I was going to be leaving and, immediately, he talked to the
Band Parents Association to see if someone would take me in. I was
too embarrassed about my reason for leaving "The Home", as we called
it, to tell anyone.
Within a few days, a couple came to see me and asked if I would like
to come live with them so I could finish high school. I didn't have
to think long about it before I answered, "yes". Now, I had a new
Sadly, Ginny was packed and left soon thereafter never to be seen by
Later, I heard that she was pregnant and that the baby would be
given up for adoption as soon as he or she was born. I also heard
that Ginny would continue living in the foster home of a police
officer and his wife while she was having our baby.
My heart was broken. I loved Ginny as much as any teenager could
love his girlfriend and was distressed to think I would never be
able to see our baby.
It was about a year later that I made contact with the nurse at The
Home and she was kind enough to tell me that she had handled the
adoption and the baby was a healthy boy. She said he looked a lot
It made me ache. Here I was without parents and very unsure of my
own future. Now I had fathered a baby and would never know him,
never have the opportunity to hold him. The sadness overwhelmed me.
As the next two years passed, I graduated from high school and had
been accepted at Florida State University. It was not easy
financially. I struggled trying to concentrate on my grades and had
to work several jobs to make ends meet. However, the thought of my
son being out there somewhere never left my mind. I always wondered
if I would ever see him, and even if I didn't, I knew he would
always be a part of me and in some strange way, I would be a part of
I wondered, would he ever be curious about his birth father?
After eight years of struggling, I finally graduated from college
and moved to Atlanta, Georgia to attend graduate school at Georgia
State University. Again, not a day went by that my son was not a
part of my consciousness. Every time I saw any little boy about his
age, I looked intently to see if he had my ears or some resemblance
Soon, I was to meet my wife and we would have our own children.
Diana and I married in July of 1981 while I was studying at Georgia
State University. By the time I graduated with my master's degree
and had been accepted into a doctoral program at the University of
Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg, we had our first son, Steve.
This occurred twenty-five months after Diana and I married, and
twenty-five months after Steve, we had Scott. Twenty-five months
after Scott, we had Kathryn, all occurring during my doctoral
training program. It was a very stressful but, exciting time.
Nevertheless, not a day went by that I ever forgot about my son with
Ginny. I continued to think about him and wondered if he was
well-cared for? Was he happy? What was his adoptive family like?
Would I ever get to meet my birth son?
I completed my doctoral training and settled into a professional
career as a psychologist. I was thrilled that I had found a
wonderful wife who gave me two handsome sons and a beautiful
As the years passed, my kids became karate champions. We traveled
the country for tournaments and soon we traveled to such places as
Budapest, Hungary, Valencia, Spain, and Tokyo, Japan. The gold
medals were overwhelming our household and newspaper articles about
the kids' accomplishments filled our walls. A number of television
appearances also were made to showcase the kids' martial arts
For all those years, I was a devoted father. My passion was and
still is my family.
I wanted to give to my children the love, security and attention I
never experienced as a child. My prayer to God was that I never let
them down. But, my thoughts always turned to my birth son. I could
feel his presence somewhere out there in the world.
Now that my children are mostly grown and leaving for college, I
cannot remove the question of what my first-born son must be doing
now. I have thought, many times, "I could be a grandfather by now".
Before Diana and I married, I made a special point of telling her
about my birth son. I was thrilled that she was so open-minded that
he might look for me someday. I knew that I wanted to throw my arms
around him, just as I had our three children as they were growing
up, and tell him how much I loved him and thought about him all
In the early 1990's The Home was preparing to celebrate their 100
year anniversary. Since I was the only kid that left the orphanage
and became a doctor, they invited me to be a guest speaker, along
with, then, Governor Lawton Chiles.
Unfortunately, I had to decline the honor because I was just
starting a position and could not get away at the time but, a few
years later, I took Diana, and the kids to tour The Children's Home
so they could see my roots. While there, I asked the director if I
could place a letter in Ginny's file, so that, if our son ever
looked for her, he could also find me.
I am not sure if he ever has looked for her, or what has become of
her. So far, I have never received that knock on the door with a
young man standing there to tell me I am his birth father.
I still hope that knock will come someday.
Dr. Kersey has been providing mental
health services since 1977 and provides services for individuals,
couples, families as well as groups. He has a special interest in
areas of co-dependent relationships, adoption issues, marital
therapy, as well as stress of life issues. Dr. Kersey is a licensed
psychologist and has been practicing in Indiana since 1987. You may
contact him at his website: